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1) A certified and trained prostitute of the mind, who naturally charges for his/her services by the hour. 2) Someone who thinks that problems thought up by the mind can be solved by even more thinking … lol 😂

Well it’s probably a good thing that no-one reads this blog with the above ‘urban dictionary’ definition of a Psychologist! Can you imagine the “quick-reactors” reading that?

They wouldn’t of even read the full paragraph before getting pissed off at me and highly offended when it’s clearly a joke – and these are 2 of the milder/nicer ones that were listed! 😆

I actually did it for my own enjoyment as I’m feeling really crappy at the mo, so thought I’d mix it up a bit with trying to do this post. It’s one of those days where I’m best left on my own with my pain levels so I can use my mental strength to try and keep them under control.

In saying that though, and as much as I hate to admit it as I don’t like being beaten by the pain – I’m kinda struggling with it a little so it’s looking like an early night so I can stretch my neck out and stop it from screaming at me like a bitch. 😑

I had my first session with the Psychologist yesterday, and it actually went really well!

I found it really easy to talk to her, which is obviously important, and even though it’s early days – we got off to a pretty good start. She wants to do weekly visits with me at the mo so I’m just gonna go with the flow, and take it one step at a time. Baby steps …

I had to laugh though when she was going through the doctors referral paperwork and asked me what Erlers-Dan-lows Syndrome was? lol 😁

Now remember I’d been offered to see the Psychologist who works along side the EDS guru, who knows all about Ehlers, but it’s a long way to drive every week, especially if it’s a bad body pain day, so I opted to see a Psychologist with a travel time of only a few minutes.

Did the 1st session help? Yes and no. We established the goal is for me to have the tools to deal with the EDS diagnosis emotions and to also build a bridge between me, pain, and pain killers, but I left feeling a tad more annoyed though – which is to be expected.

I know the emotional roller-coaster is probably going to get a lot worse before it get’s better, but I’m OK with that, and ready to rock, roll and rumble with it.

I’m actually going to sign off for now as I’m pretty much struggling at the moment, which says a lot about me if I can admit to that! I may be fiercely stubborn when it comes to my body and the pain, but I also know when I’m getting my ass kicked in and losing the fight.

It’s time for me to wave the white flag and surrender, and go lay down for a while.

Time out!

I’ll continue this tomorrow – maybe?

Hugs / Peace Out! Essie ❣


(Edited/Added – Thursday 11th July 2019)

I’m back! 😜

Geez that was fun – NOT!

Feeling like the back of my neck had been whopped with a cricket bat is not pleasant, or something I’d wish upon anyone, but it is what it is so just gotta suck it up and deal with it.

Righteo where was I??? Oh that’s right – the Psychologist!

So as I was saying; we’ve established the end goal of the therapy, the emotional roller-coaster is going to get worse before it get’s better – she didn’t say that, I just know based on how I felt after the session – I found it easy to talk to her, and last but not least, I’m on weekly visits.

I must admit I am a little nervous as I didn’t like where my head was at when I got home from seeing her. For the rest of that day (and night) my mindset had shifted and even carried on through to the next day. I’m OK now, but that’s only because I’ve pushed it to the back of mind and won’t allow myself to think about it.

I immediately sensed that she couldn’t fully grasp why I was so angry at all of the so called “medical experts” when ‘apparently’ things can get missed from time to time when it comes to diagnoses. Yep OK that’s a fair enough statement, but maybe get to know me, and my history some more, before making an assumption.

Once she realises I had a hysterectomy at 23 because the specialist fucked up with the diagnosis, or when I had to go doctor shopping before a GP finally took me seriously and it turned out to be tumour, or even when a GP stitched up my finger, but missed the severed tendon – then maybe, just MAYBE (?) she’ll be able to grasp my anger a little bit better?

As a Psychologist, especially as a Psychologist, you have to realise that you know jack shit about your patient in the first 60mins session, when 10mins of that was sorting out the forms and paperwork. Maybe just wait until you’ve had a few sessions before assuming.

I’m not having a go at her as I really liked her, and want to continue seeing her, but don’t start placing me in ‘boxes’ until you hear more about my story. I’m not an angry person in general so for me to feel so strongly against something – there has to be a very valid reason why!

I’m a firm believer of ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ – AND – it takes more than 60mins to get to know someone – regardless of who it is!

I’m looking forwards to seeing her next week as, being the type of person that I am, I’ll be telling her to just chill out a bit with the quick reaction of ‘not understanding’ and just get to know me a little bit better first. Then, with fingers & toes crossed, we can hopefully develop a great doctor/patient relationship in the future 😊

Well it’s time for a cup of motivation, so I’m outta here!

Plus I have a shitload to do, that I probably won’t even get around to doing! My ‘to do’ list is seriously getting longer and longer by the frign day! 🤣

Catch ya on the flip side!

Hugs / Peace Out! Essie ❣